Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
