You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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