do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
