can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
