Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be your penis for a week.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize