You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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