I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Randomize
