So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
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Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
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and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
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maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.