i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging