And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
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