hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Just cropdusted the office
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
