You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
he shaved USA in his pubs
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
