wake up i wanna do it froggy style
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
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