you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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