Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
There's always time for handjobs
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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