I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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