I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
it was like eating out sand paper
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
