I am puke
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
This house was built for laser tag.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
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