im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
