I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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