Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
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The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
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Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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