I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
