And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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