if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
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