Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
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