Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Houston, we have a squirter
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
