It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
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