just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
