It's like God shit irony all over that family
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
