no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
