I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
