Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
