i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
