I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Just high enough for therapy.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
