i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
