Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
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sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
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The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
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