Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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