I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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