You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
