trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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