Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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