My liver just broke up with me...
I think I am morally bankrupt
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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