Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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