just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
