Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
