oh god the rape fog is back!
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
