Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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