i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
