i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
