Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
