Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
