In America we eat man semen.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
