i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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