I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
