i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
