people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
