hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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