Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize