my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I just had sex on a roof
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
