does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
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is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
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Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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