it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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