That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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