we made out on top of his cat.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
