I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
