singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
