operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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