Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
