why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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